We know that our siblings are looking up to us, and that we must set a perfect example.
We must never show the slightest sign of fear.
When mom and dad didn’t have the whole parenting thing figured out yet, we had to be the guinea pigs.
Also, we had to take the full brunt of mom and dad’s weirdness all by ourselves.
We’re always trying to put a smile on everyone’s face.
Always having to pretend to care about boring baby stuff that’s way below our superior intellect.
It’s up to us to take the creative lead.
We sometimes must use our superior strength to save our siblings from being whiny little jerkfaces.
Yet no one ever realizes that we, too, feel pain.
We’re always contemplating the deeper questions.
We must keep cool in times of trouble.
We’re always educating.
Always setting a fashion example.
And looking pretty fabulous in general.
We sometimes must discipline those who try to ruin family photos.
Always coming up with new ways to entertain.
Never afraid to lure younger ones to the dark side.
Even though the attention can sometimes be too much, and we try to keep a low profile…
And despite the slanderous way we’re portrayed in the media…
…in real life we’re dedicated to being loving, caring, full-time bodyguards.
If anything, we are maybe guilty of loving TOO MUCH.