Schrödinger’s cat walks into a bar and doesn’t
Do you want to hear a joke about Potassium?
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?
Classical conditioning!
There are two types of people in this world – those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
What did the photon say when the bellhop asked him if he had any luggage?
Nope, I’m traveling light
A neutron asks the bartender how much it is for a drink. The bartender replies, "For you, no charge".
What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?
Beer
How do you know the moon is going broke?
It’s down to its last quarter!
A cop pulls Heisenberg over and asks "Do you know how fast you were going?". Heisenberg replies "No, but I know where I am".
An infectious disease enters a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve you're kind here". The infectious disease responds "Well, you're not a very good host".
Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says "I'll have some H20". The second says "I'll have some H2O too". The second one dies.
Why can't you trust atoms?
They make up everything!
Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve noble gasses here". Helium doesn't react.
I was reading a book on anti-gravity. I found it hard to put down.
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor hands the newborn to the dad while his wife asks "Is it a boy or a girl?". The logician replies, "Yes".
Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?
The food’s great but it has no atmosphere
The bartender says "We don't serve your kind". A tachyon walks into the bar.
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
Entropy isn't what it used to be.
Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?
To get to the same side
My teacher threw sodium chloride at me. That's a salt!
What do you call two crows?
Attempted murder
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
What is a nuclear physicists favorite food?
Fission chips
We would end with a funny chemistry joke but all the good ones Argon.
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