“In light of all the progress pics on the front page, here’s me and my half brother making progress on some pasta & meatballs.”
“One of my students got sick of the rest of the class and started meditating.”
“Ladies and gentelmen, here’s the mother of my child.”
“Her classmates called her fat, so she asked to come with me on my run. But in the middle of it, she stopped to have a snack.”
When your truck is way too big for your garage.
Snow? What snow?
And the rest of the world can wait.
The driver of this car is an adult man who loves Carrie Underwood and he’s not going to hide it.
“This scooter was a present for my niece, but that didn’t stop me.”
When someone asks you to fix the clock.
Why worry so much?
When you’ve had a fight, but you have to get home somehow.
“My girlfriend gave me her portrait as a birthday gift.”
What do you mean I can’t bring sausages?