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1. Went over like a lead balloon.
2. So hungry I would eat the southern end of a north bound mule.
3. Couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.
4. Dumber than a box of hammer.
5. Were you born stupid or just trying really hard?
6. Couldn't find his/her a$$ with a map, a flashlight and help.
Got more I have heard over the years but Ill keep this short.
"She has a tongue longer than a Mountie's boot".
"That's about as funny as a green turd in a pickle jar."