"I stopped a lady at a crosswalk because her underwear was hanging out of the back of her skirt (look like a mistake in the bathroom maybe). She stepped back off the crosswalk in about 2 seconds later a vehicle making a left turn at high speed smashed into parked cars right next to where she would have been standing.
She would have been dead."
"Accidentally did a full 360 in my car while driving down an icy road in the winter.
Nearly shat my self while watching the telephone pole getting closer, but I saved the spin and kept driving along like I meant to do it."
"High school. Walked by 2 kids in the hallway. Kid 1 playfully threw water bottle at Kid 2’s back just as we passed each other. The bottle bounced off and I caught it with my hand without looking or even turning my head, and I just had a blank nonchalant expression as I did that. I handed it back to them with a poker face, but I was actually losing my mind and felt like [email protected]#king Spiderman lol."
"I accidentally caught an interception in high school and scored a touchdown. I was just as surprised to catch it as everyone else since I was just crossing over and the next thing I know I see the football flying over me. I instinctually reached up and caught it, andthe only thing in my head at that point was “run” so I booked it and got a 60 yard touchdown"
"Bought someone a Coke without looking at it and it had their name on it"
"I hit my mate in the nutsack with a tennis ball from across a football field once"
"First bartending shift ever, picked up a bottle of fairly expensive liquor (Patron Añejo). Slipped from my hand, held out my foot to slow the fall of the bottle to lessen the spread of shattered glass, and the bottle ended up resting on my outstretched foot completely unharmed.
The one customer that was there (slow opening shift) saw the whole thing and freaked out, thinking I’ve been bartending for decades. I’ve never felt prouder of my reflexes."
"I had headphones in walking downtown a busy street, a kid almost hit me with his bike coming down the driveway so I stopped it by the handle bars. The mom came running down the driveway and I was thinking “Oh great, a Karen.” After taking my headphones out she thanked me in a panic for stopping her son from flying into the street as a car passed by. Never noticed it drive by."
"My dad accidentally had the best acid trip of his life at a Grateful Dead concert. I’m old, my dad is old, this happened way back. At age 18, my dad had to wear a body cast due to surgery for his scoliosis. His buddies heard of a Grateful Dead concert a couple towns over in California, and they invited him along.
My dad was laid flat in the back of an old Studebaker station wagon for the ride. When they arrived, my dad’s buddies asked him to hide their hits of paper acid in his body cast so they could be discrete, since all of them had been arrested for possession prior. My dad obliged and all was going well for a bit.
Once the Grateful Dead started playing, my dad was dancing around, best he could, and began to sweat. Cue the paper acid being absorbed into his system and suddenly he’s tripping balls at a once in a lifetime concert."
"I was taking a tour of one of the U.S government buildings, I believe the Capital but I’m not sure, during a school trip. During the tour, the guide showed us a chandelier and asked if anyone knew how much it was worth. Flippantly, I answered something like 4.7 million like I already knew the answer.
Turns out, it was the correct answer: the tour guide said “sounds like someone’s been doing his research.” None of my friends believed me when I told them that I hadn’t already known the answer. I believed me though."
"Drunkenly invested money into stocks… Made back triple that money"
"Once cut a fly in half while in flight. Pretty big house fly annoying me while preping dinner and in my anger I sliced at the fly only for it to fall to ground in pieces, had to wash the knife afterwards though"
"Survived long enough to retire and collect a pension."
"Was playing a local version of dodgeball as a high schooler. I sucked at throwing the ball. I have some sort of issue with my rotator cuff and can’t throw overhand, and the schools star baseball pitcher, who was three grades above me, mocked me for all to enjoy. I had a little rage moment and side-armed the ball at him, totally expecting it to hit the ground as I stormed off.
Instead, the ball flew directly at his nuts. It had that nice indoor tennis thump…. Great impact with real good inertia, and he groaned in pain."
"I was [email protected]#tfaced/rollin last saturday night out at the bars, and heard someone screaming inside this cookie joint at like 2 am. So I drunkenly ran in because from the window it looked like an old friend of mine and I thought maybe something was wrong.
I get inside and decide I want to just suprise him by running up and hugging the [email protected]#king [email protected]#t out of him from behind. So I wrap my arms around him and scream “GUESS WHO [email protected]#KER!” All of a sudden, the few other people in this cookie shop run over and tackle us to the ground! Im beyond [email protected]#ked up, so I just lay there with my arms locked around my friend while people are ontop of us. Someone then shouts “I got his gun”…
Yep….Not only was this guy not my friend, but he was infact robbing this place. I had just drunkenly stopped a [email protected]#king robbery. Apparently when I hugged him and shouted guess who, he got so scared that he dropped his gun allowing the other people to rush in and subdue him."