"Have you tried turning the room off and back on again?"
"Aunt Bessie’s next lockdown project is to knit a conservatory."
"As the foliage grew in strength and numbers, the cushions made plans to reclaim the ground floor on behalf of all the soft furnishings."
"Lockdown business opportunity: Trampoline helmets."
"Bob’s ability to empty a room was renowned across the children’s entertainment industry."
“It’s that time of the evening again, just talk amongst yourselves“
"On the 5th day, God gave his preliminary sketches to the couple next door as an apology for all the noise."
"Don’t be fooled by the bunting."
"Don’t bugs the let bite bed."
"Misery is having to read someone else’s definition of happiness while trying to unblock a U-bend"
"Zach’s new garden saved him a fortune in hay fever medicine."
“If the show sucks we can always leave during the interval“
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I would keep that !