"I 40F have hosted Thanksgiving for my family (husband, children, mother, siblings, and their spouses) for the last 20 years. There was never an issue until my brother met his now-wife Julie* five years ago."
"Julie is very big into fad diets (Atkins, keto, South Beach) and every year she sends me a list of foods that she cannot eat and a list of things that she can."
"Last year I cooked her the exact keto foods that she wanted and she was upset the entire meal because my brother didn’t want to eat it with her so they fought at the table."
"Last week she sent me a text message that she is now on the fertility diet as they are starting IVF and sent me another list of foods that she cannot eat and a planned menu for me to cook for her."
"I texted her back and told her that this year I was making one meal and one meal only and she could either eat what was being served or bring her own food. She texted back and told me that I was being selfish and didn’t care about her."
"My brother called me up the next day and asked if I was happy about ruining Thanksgiving and started to yell about how at their BBQ last summer they catered to my food allergies (I am deathly allergic to strawberries and have an epi-pen)."
"I told my brother that this was not the same as a life-threatening food allergy, that this was a dietary choice, and it changes every year."
"He called my mother, who told him that we all find it difficult to keep up with Julie’s dietary needs and that if she wants special foods, she needs to bring them herself."
"Now my entire family is fighting with each other, my brother won’t speak to me and my SIL is posting nasty things about me on Facebook."
"I talked to my husband about this, and he said this was “ridiculous high school bulls@#t drama.” He told me he would be fine canceling the whole meal and it just being our family."
"I agreed with him and sent everyone a text message. I told them that Thanksgiving at my house is canceled. That I am serving (Thanksgiving menu). If they want to come over and eat with us, they are welcome to do so."
"My sister is thrilled that I finally said something about it. She hosts Christmas dinner and is also tired of cooking extra meals. My mom however is upset that we are all fighting and thinks that I shouldn’t have canceled the meal."
"Now I am starting to feel guilty, but my husband and my son say that I need to stand my ground and not give in to Julie and my brother.
So AITA for canceling Thanksgiving?"
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I say let the SIL simmer in her own self-righteousness for as long as it takes for her to stop being a hippie and trying whatever diet she thinks is cool. I'd say letting her bring whatever she wants because she's not happy with what you make is more than you should have to tolerate, so good on you for even allowing it! Let alone demanding you cook it.
Take it or leave!
Before the day of the dinner, I ask which foods contain onions and don't eat them.
Some hosts, without me asking, prepare something different for me. But it's never a demand, it's their choice.
OP is totally right, tell that c#nt to go f@#k herself and move on with your life.