Motorcycle Democracy
The Hells Angels website states, “If you have to ask, you probably will not understand the answer.” Somehow prospects get recruited. These are guys who haven’t been given member status. They are kind of like interns trying to prove themselves to the club. A vote is held to either make the prospect a full-time member or oust them. This process can legitimately take years.
No Girls or Law Allowed
The Hells Angels refer to themselves as a brotherhood. Women play an integral and essential role in making the club run, but cannot be voted in as official members. No form of law enforcement can join either. This includes prison guards and even security guards.
Don’t Forget You’re Here Forever
Once you join the Hells Angels it’s nWo 4 life! Leaving or retirement isn’t exactly an option.
The Golden Rule
Treat others how you wish to be treated. The Hells Angels treat others with respect so long as they receive it in return.
We Hope Your Hog’s a Harley
If you’re rolling with the Hells Angels you need to ride a Harley Davidson motorcycle.
Don’t Interrupt During a Meeting
In an official club meeting, stay quiet unless directly spoken to. If you have a concern make sure it’s on the agenda beforehand. A minimum fine of $100 gets doled out to rule breakers.
Sacred Vests
When a prospect becomes a member, they are given a cut (vest) with the infamous club logo and name. A charter
patch is also sewn onto the vest. If arrested you need to hand your vest to another member for safekeeping/avoiding tainting it in jail. The same rule applies if medical staff tries to cut or tear off your vest during emergency care.
Don’t Be Too Friendly
A warning on the Hells Angels website says “never combine your support to Hells Angels with other clubs, street gangs, or others if you are unaware of the relationship between those others and the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club.” Meaning, make sure not to fraternize with folks unless they’re cool with the club.
You Must Ride in Order
Bikers ride in order of rank and seniority. The charter president takes the lead with prospects bringing up the rear.
Pull Over Together
If one biker gets pulled over for any reason, everyone pulls over as a sign of solidarity.
You Gotta Show Up
The attendance code is crucial. If you regularly miss meetings or hangouts, it’s seen as a sign that you’re not loyal to, or serious about, the club.
Bikers Have Dress Codes?
What you can wear varies from charter to charter. That said, the general consensus is “no shorts allowed.”
Give Back to the Community
Charitable work is a requirement for most charters. Hells Angels are active community members who regularly help out during local events.
Keep Your Mouth Shut
Never talk to the media or run your mouth in public. The Hells Angels thrive in secrecy and staying tight-lipped. “We do not answer questions about members.” That counts towards missing members especially.
Protect the Angels, No Matter What
Hells Angels don’t pull punches when it comes to protecting their organization. They once sued Disney over copyright infringement for the portrayal of bikers in Wild Hogs (2007).
Don’t Mention the Apostrophe
Yes, they are aware grammatically it should could be Hell’s Angels. I don’t think they care. Do you want to tell them?
Knock-Offs Could Get You Knocked Out
There is phony Hells Angels merchandise floating around. If you’re a member, don’t get caught wearing it. You have to earn your gear and get it directly from the club.
Borders and Boundaries
Most well-known motorcycle organizations have set borders and boundaries of operation. An unwritten rule is to stay within these set limits or prepare to fight for your territory.
All of this said, I once helped a Hells Angels member pick out a router when I worked retail. He was an exceptionally polite fellow.
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Poor little Parthenia should try to join them. Obviously his ideal. But I don't think whiny incels that try to turn literally anything in a whiny rant about things not trumpie enough have a chance...
Criminals are not always bad. Not all the time, anyway.