"When you don’t have private parking, this is the car you want."
“Caught this gem in a Target parking lot.”
“A typical Monday.”
“My friends got married. Did NOT know they were taking a photo in the window and photobombed the pic.”
“You like krabby patties, don’t you squidward?”
“Daddy son bonding time!”
“How I wake up every day...”
“These two noodles escaped being poured into the pot by holding on to the package walls.”
“My cat sleeps in the strangest position.”
“My buddy’s dog when the vacuum comes out.”
“Graduation day was great, until this moment.”
"This girl took the road rules a little too seriously and stopped at the traffic lights for cars."
“A duck in a subway train came up and started to gaze at me. I felt awkward.”
“She traded me for the window seat before we got on the plane.”
“It’s awkward when you come to the office and see someone else wearing the same clothes as you are.”
"The flight attendant rushed out of the bathroom."
“The car insurance lady asked my mom for the front, rear, & side views, but she didn’t get the memo.”
“I washed my husband’s sportswear and 3 pumas ran into the washing machine.”
“Woke up and discovered my wife moved our coat stand yesterday.”
“I tried to make a frog out of icing.”
“Your frog looks better than my frog cupcakes.”
“Came home to a newly laid concrete driveway. I did not order a concrete driveway nor any other type of driveway”
“When the person that laid it came back to see if I was happy with the job, he realized it was the wrong address. I now have a free concrete driveway.”
“My left AirPod fell in the oven and I didn’t notice until it was well-baked 20 minutes afterward.”
“I interrupted their moment.”
“My brother-in-law’s new fishing chair came in.”
“A 9-year-old asked why I dressed like a pencil today...”
“Was looking for a remote job”
“My wife with her new camera, and my wife’s first photo with her new camera. Her services are available for weddings, bar mitzvahs, and funerals. Please book early to avoid disappointment.”
“Herbert the vacuum seems a little dramatic after sending me messages like, ’I’m stuck near the cliff.’”
“I was at work and I was so upset that someone left their dog in the office, so I went to play with it. Turns out, it’s a statue.”
"A guy lost his shoe right as the subway doors closed."
"When you find yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time"
"Never leave a rubber duck in a hot car."
"Just spent 13 days looking for my iPad"
"Her nickname is Lizard."
“I left my shoe in the window for 2 months and it shrunk.”