"That I can’t use my notes in life.
TF does that even mean? I’m always looking at my notes when I do my job."
"We had a teacher tell us that we only had so many uses before our vocal cords stopped working so wasting it small talking during class would cause us to go mute in our 30s"
"That people would be offering me free drugs all the time… WHERE ARE THESE PEOPLE?!?!"
"This will go down on your permanent record.”
"That all my high school teachers and my professors once I got to college would require cursive"
"Apparently bears just nap a lot in the winter and don’t take a 3 month mega nap"
"Tastebud zones."
"That I wouldn’t have a calculator in my pocket"
"That cracking your fingers gives you arthritis"
"That my face was gonna get stuck like this"
"Cheaters never win in the end. Only good people succeed.
All lies."
"If you touch a baby duck it’s mother will reject it"
"That being an astronaut is way harder than they sell it as palpable career."
"That napoleon was short. Turns out he was average height for his time, and it was just British propaganda representing how small of a threat they perceived him to be."
"There’s no such thing as a stupid question"
"Learning to type in the 90s pretty much every teacher I had insisted you needed two spaces after every period. Well apparently that’s wrong now but f@#k it I still do it!!!!!"
"Did you hear about Pluto? That’s messed up, right?"
"I learned in Kindergarten that emperor penguins were the same height as us, (true at the time), but as I grew, I still thought that they were still the same height as I am. Then, as a teenager, I was surprised when I saw penguins at the zoo that they were only 3-4 feet or so, and not my actual height."
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My coworker had a philosophy "professor" in community college who pronounced René Descartes as "Re-nee Dess-CAR-tess." He thought I was lying, because "why would (the "professor") not know?"