“My mom is not so good with finances and the internet. I have been paying a significant portion of her bills for the past decade and she has no idea.”
“The really great report card I brought home once was actually a fabrication I made on the home computer while they were sleeping. Mom was so proud, I never told her.”
“My sister once pointed a Roman candle to my head. Had a severe burn and hair loss. I combed it over and agreed never to tell. I was 10 and she was 16 btw.”
“In high school, the melted floor mats in my mom’s new car were because I sprayed febreeze on dog cr#p that a friend’s shoe brought in and it “reacted like that”.
In truth, it was a firecracker that someone tried to chuck out the window and it bounced off the glass and landed inside the car. They forgot the child safety windows didn’t go all the way down.”
“That photo of Cindy Crawford wasn’t downloaded by the computer repair men.”
“That I qualified for free school lunches. Instead of using the $5 they gave me everyday on school lunch I would save it for alcohol/weed. Honestly back then I thought I was a genius but now I look back and want to punch my former self in the face for it.”
“My two younger sisters and I peed in a ziplock bag for the hell of it and kept it in the closet. I don’t know what we planned to do with it, but eventually one of them panicked and told our mom and she was like “Wtf is wrong with you guys.”
“It was me that smoked weed in the garage not my sisters boyfriend at the time. Haha f@#k that guy anyways.”
“Ive made a lot more money than they think I have and the only reason I haven’t moved out is because I’ll miss my parents too much.”
“It’s my fault the sewer pipe burst in our front yard, costing us tens of thousands of dollars of damage. I clogged the pipe with tissues and jizz. Lots and lots of both. Thought I could get away with flushing the evidence down the toilet… but that kind of backfired.”
“That I’ve been slowly consuming the guest alcohol and diluting it with water. Also it wasn’t the cleaning ladies son who “stole” those two bottles of wine.”
“When I was 22, I bought my brother a case of beer when he turned 16. He was with five friends so I assumed it would be split. He drank most of the case, got arrested after throwing up on a cop at a concert. Dad, who happened to be a policeman, picked him up at juvenile jail.”
“The night I didn’t come home from a friend house when I was 17 want because my phone died, or because I lost track of time and fell asleep. It was because I discovered fireball and lost all control of my motor skills until I eventually passed out in my underwear.”
“The Davis boys didn’t give our computer a massive virus by forcing me to download brittany spears porn… it was me!!!”
• Don't insult other visitors. Offensive comments will be deleted without warning.
• Comments are accepted in English only.
• No swearing words in comments, otherwise such comments will be censored.
• Your nickname and avatar are randomly selected. If you don't post comments for 7 days, they both are reset.
• To choose another avatar, click the ‘Random avatar’ link.
Why? Are you into kids or something, perv?