Rollerblade Barbie
This toy had rollerblades that would spark when you pushed Barbie along. To get the spark effect, the rollerblades used similar technology to a cigarette lighter. Older brothers quickly realized that hairspray + sparking Barbie rollerblades = fire!
Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Laboratory
This toy came with a legitimate radioactive rock. A detector was included and when your rock ran out of uranium, you could call the company and get a new radioactive rock! Kids playing with and at times eating uranium was a bad idea.
Aqua Dots
At one point during production, the distributor accidentally used a toxic compound to make the dots. Ingesting the dots was like taking a sedative with a hypnotic effect. Kids began to suffer from seizures. Some even went into comas. Adults and teens also used the aqua dots to get high.
Cabbage Patch Kids
Snacktime Kid A motor sucked plastic food into the doll’s mouth. The motor only went one way and wouldn’t stop until the mouth was clear. This didn’t go well when human hair and fingers got stuck in the doll’s mouth.
Jarts
Giant, heavy darts thrown straight up in the air is a bad idea. I’m not sure what else there is to say.
Flubber
Numerous reports came out the kids were experiencing sore throats and strange rashes after playing with this goop. Hasbro did a recall but made no mention of the medical concerns. What happened to the recalled Flubber is also a mystery. Some failed attempts claim they tried to light it on fire (Flubber is not flammable) and tried to dump it in a large body of water (Flubber doesn’t sink).
Cinderella Car
A faulty battery caused 64,000 recalls on this toy car. Numerous incidents of the battery overheating saw smoke billow out from underneath the seats. In one instance flames were said to have burst from underneath the toy hood.
Slip ‘N Slide
This toy is meant for kids, but that didn’t stop some drunk parents from giving it a whirl. The Slip ‘N Slide isn’t meant for long bodies. The adults would run out of sliding space, stop shot and eat it into the grass. Many neck injuries and even paralysis occurred.
Barbie And Her Dog Tanner
Tanner the dog would actually poop. His droppings were made up of tiny magnets. Kids were swallowing the magnets. If they swallowed two, the magnets would stick together and cause some nasty, internal blockages.
Pokemon Burger King Pokeball
These toys replicated a Pokeball. Cracking in half to reveal your Pokemon. Tragically, one-half of a Pokeball became suctioned to a child’s face: suffocating them.
Battlestar Galactica Viper Mark II
A projectile missile from this toy shot right into the throat of a kid causing him to choke to death. This toy is the reason for choking hazard labels.
Sky Dancers
These dolls would launch into the air like a mini-helicopter. Instead of a predictable, soft landing; gravity turned these sky dancers into erratic, mini-missiles.
Hoverboards
Lots to unpack with these things: poor lithium-ion batteries were exploding, kids bailing hard as they looked at their phones while riding, and the damn things are just difficult to ride.
Slap Bracelets
Made from layered, stainless steel, these bands began to cause some serious cuts and bruises on the wrists of children and young adults.
Water Beads
What happens when a toddler ingests a bead that can grow 100x its original size? An 8-month-old ate one and needed surgery to clear an intestinal blockage.
Clackers
Two heavy balls on a string would make a clacking noise when hit together. An irritating toy that turned dangerous when the cheap plastic would break. This caused shrapnel to fly in the face of children resulting in multiple injuries.
Austin Magic Pistol
This toy guy fired ping pong at incredible speeds with the help of “magic crystals” which were in fact, calcium chloride. The problem? Even a small amount of saliva or water would cause the calcium chloride to explode. The gun often exploded while a child was holding it, engulfing their hand in flames. Many places now classify this “toy” as a firearm.
Yo-yo Water Ball
How this was made is baffling. The liquid inside the squishy ball was toxic. The long cord was a strangulation hazard and the toy itself was extremely flammable.
Laser Pointers
At low power, these are usually just annoying toys kids brought to movie theatres. However, high-powered versions were sold that could cause full or partial blindness if flashed in someone’s eye.
Professor Wacko’s Exothermic Exuberance
An assembly line mix-up saw some chemicals get mislabeled. At least two house fires were reported after kids mixed the wrong things together.
Trampolines
These toys are injury-prone death traps. They account for over 100,000 injuries each year. From 1990 to 1999 there were 11 trampoline-related deaths reported.
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(#5 And jarts were a lot of fun to throw at one another, except for that whole skull piercing thing)