"As soon as he got outside he spit a massive lougie in the air and then caught it back into his mouth."
"Didn’t hire this kid but I was his foreman. Day one I have him gluing together some PVC pipes using an extremely runny, very toxic purple primer chemical. Safety glasses are mandatory. I look over, he’s gluing these pipes above directly above his head, glasses off, and the chemical has a very low viscosity so it’s running down the underside of the pipe and about to drop right in his face and eyes.
I yell over for him to stop and step away, and explain the he could have been permanently blinded. He proceeds to freak the f@#k out on me, and yell about how I’m not speaking to him in a “respectful manner”. I’m f@#king flabbergasted at this point, but I calmly tell him that he was in imminent danger, and to get his goddamn glasses on. At this point he’s already used up all his strikes with me, but it’s not my call.
Ok, like a half hour later, despite me trying to keep an eye on him, he comes up to me with his mouth and lips stained with this primer liquid, and he’s laughing about how he accidentally got it in his mouth. I’m totally lost for words. I’ve already explained to him that this sh#t for sure can give you cancer, but he thinks it’s a huge joke.
Anyway he lasted a couple months SO many more stories. Finally I just went ballistic on him one day and that was that."
"Meth In the bathroom!"
"New salesperson literally looked out the window and stomped her feet because she was mad her out-of-state boss and the in-state owners were going to a lunch meeting without her. It was her second day. She lasted less than a month."
"A company my mom worked in.
Begged for a job, was told job demanded flexibility timewise from his side. First friday he informed his suprior that he would now leave (after working for an hour) because there was a football-match that he wanted to see and left."
"On his first week, he won a prepaid credit card for performance (sales job). Hours after I personally had given him the gift card, one of my managers advises me that he’s been smearing his feces and drawing Swastikas with them in the men’s washroom. I terminated him, awkward to say the least.
Before it’s asked, we had cameras OUTSIDE the public washrooms that allowed us to identify the person doing it."
"I had an employee that slept overnight in the office, as he had a fight with his girl friend, and then he used the fuel card from the company car (for going to locations to fix IT equipment) to fill petrol cans (apparently for personal use)…"
"Got drunk at a company dinner and propositioned two young female interns. Fired him the next day."
"I hired someone for a moving company I was with 7 years ago. Based near milwaukee, WI. On his first day he was supposed to take the company car and drive to Madison, WI. He didn’t show up. Fired him on the way to HIS job."
"Asked me permission to use the bathroom. Every time. In spite of my protestations that he was an adult who I trusted to make his own decisions about going to the lav. He also sent me a weekly spreadsheet of all his breaks (potty and otherwise), lunches, and arrival and departure times. This is in no way required or the norm in our workplace.
Finally, after multiple pleas from me he stopped doing that. He was very smart and very skilled, but this was the first indication that he would otherwise be a lot of work."
"Entered the clean room without the proper attire, so we had to stop production and bleach about 6 rooms. He was union, so I didn’t really have a choice in hiring him, but luckily was able to make sure he was not retained in our department."
"We hired a bench technician to do electronics repair.
the first job i asked his help with was to extend a comm cable. 3 conductors. easy peasy. cut the cable, splice in x amount of new wire, done.
he comes back to me an hour later with the original cable, cut in two, then spliced back together. without adding anything to it.
instead of extending it, all he did was cut it and put it back together. and it took him an hour."
"I once worked with someone who was an absolute waste of space, my boss said he was going to promote him, I told him not it’s a bad idea. After 3 months of training the guy became a manager, then on his first shift alone stole all the cash from the days sales. I wasn’t even mad, I smiled when my boss told me."
"She stapled papers in the middle of the page… like as far as she could reach with the stapler."
“What’s the company policy on fighting?” He was totally serious too, when told he can’t, he asked “what about in the parking lot?”
"Downloaded and stole all of our email/company info and prices and took them to the competitor. We sued the sh#t out of him and won, though."
"They were loudly taking a phone call while waiting to be interviewed. Taking a call is not a total dealbreaker by itself, but the call was her coaching the friend into getting fired so she could get unemployment.
I didn’t hire her, but after I left I think someone else did."
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Several others were not instantly fired, either, but lasted a month or more.
FEDERAL GOVERNMENT JOB HANDLING NATIONAL RECORDS in the archives division.