1

2

"“Giving injections to birds (medicine)”

Found it hilarious that they felt it necessary to clarify the injections were medicine, as opposed to say heroin."

3

"I once took an application from a guy who, when asked if he was convicted of any felonies, wrote NO!!! in pen, circled it, underlined the circle, drew arrows to the underlined circle, and didn’t finish the rest of the application."

4

"Just a cashier. A guy with a resume came in asking for our manager who wasn’t there. The dude handed me the resume and I asked if he was looking for part time or full time, yadda yadda. He left and on his resume he included a list of vegetables he can cut, which is cool and all, but it’s a pet store."

5

"Working at a job placement agency, I have seen every terrible resume ever.

But my favorite resume of all had just 1 line in his skills summary: “I am relatively good at most things.”

Thats all I needed to know, kid."

6

"My manager at a fast food place told me that someone put down that they got level 99 in Diablo 2 hardcore. She asked me if this was impressive. I said yes."

7

"I was interviewing a young man that said he was fluent in German. I then spoke German to him. He did not speak German."

8

"A candidate listed himself as president of the Oregon chapter of the “3rd amendment defense league.” I told him that I didn’t see many abuses of the third amendment, and he said, “then you see how successful we are…”

I was impressed.

too many to answer individually. Yes, he got the job."

9

"Direct quote: “Champion of the Rock-Paper-Scissor at University”"

10

"“Good attention to deatil” was probably my favorite from the latest round of resumes I looked at."

11

"I was interviewing someone for a position a few years ago, and his resume was nothing but famous people he had met. He got mad when I explained to him that shaking hands with John Kerry is not “an accomplishment.”"

12

"Not a hiring manager, but I once listed “Can use both hands at the same time” as one of my skills. The manager would later tell me that was why she hired me over the other applicants."

13

"I used to work in a movie rental store. This guy turned an application in and under previous occupation he put “hired killer.” So naturally my manager had to interview him. He was a soldier who just got out of the Army after doing two tours in Iraq. Pretty cool guy. A little jumpy though."

14

"I have “playing the harmonica badly” on my resume. It was a good icebreaker in interviews until I was actually asked to demonstrate by a future coworker. She handed me a $.99 plastic toy harmonica and called in three more people to the room. I rocked it."

15

"When my best friend was in school, her teacher had the class make BS resumes just so they would know how in the future. Unfortunately for her, when she actually was looking for a job later on, she accidentally sent out her BS resume to quite a few potential employers with ‘paranormal investigator’ and ‘first female astronaut’ as her skills/achievements. They never called her."

16

"Under business experience:

“Sell tiny tables online”

I reread that line about 10 times with increasing laughter"

17

"This is not an accomplishment but one time someone had a picture of tupac on their resume.

it was at footlocker and he did get the job."

18

"At my last job I had to interview a woman who listed a lot of tennis awards she had won in high school. She was 35."

19

"It may not count as this was clearly a joke application, but I had a girl turn in a resume which included things like, “Slew a demon with own two hands.”, “Six confirmed dragon kills to date, two more plausible but unconfirmed.”, “Proficient with siege equipment.”

I called her in for an interview just to turn the joke on her head. That didn’t work. She showed up in functional full plate, with a crusader’s tabard, and another girl acting as her squire carrying a shield, lance, and broadsword. It was hilarious!

The best part is the job was for a security guard. Unfortunately she didn’t get it. We have a military or police service time requirement and “The Order of Holy Fire” does not count."