“This is my friend’s tan line after pushing carts over the summer for Costco.”
“Someone cut me off and brake-checked me, sending my pizza flying into the footwell.”
“4 days wasted”
“Would you consider this chicken raw?”
“Bought new dinner plates. I guess you need to always read the back first.”
“What it looks like when it took you 30 minutes to realize that you accidentally made contact with 35% hydrogen peroxide.”
“The way my neighbors have been parked all weekend — they crowd the court I live on.”
“My girlfriend got a fruit cup and it’s just an orange in a plastic container.”
“Nothing quite like going to a job site and seeing this.”
“This is one of the bathroom stalls in my school.”
“This package of bacon I got”
“Is there a bigger lie than the ’lift and peel’ label?”
“How do I get rid of this?”
“Why do some people do this?”
’’The hair clippers died.’’
’’This woman sitting next to me on the bus’’
’’I went to get my bangs cut, came home, and brushed my hair only to find this.’’
’’My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined.’’
’’I dropped my cologne in my sink.’’
’’I managed to burn only the inside of my frozen bread.’’
’’Everyone, including my parents, forgot it was my birthday today, so I improvised.’’
’’Unfortunately, I dropped an egg.’’
“My mom borrowed my gaming mouse because she lost hers. This is how she returned it.”
’’I lost the orange lottery.’’
’’I made croissants with ham, got distracted halfway through, and apparently forgot to fold half of them.’’
’’My wedding ring was a little tight when we got it 20 years ago, finally had to cut it off today.’’
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That takes talent, I'm not actually sure how to go about burning just the inside of a loaf...
#30
Same thing happened at my place one time, you could see the beak and everything in the print. The bird did survive but it was sitting stunned on the deck for a couple hours...
microwave, moist part in the middle ...
WTF she's hot
And at time-and-a-half, double time on the weekend, I would too.
wait til dark bag-em or cut it down and set fire to it