“The results of the blizzard in Buffalo.”
“Bought a $44 handmade, ceramic mug. It cracks as I pour in my first cup of tea.”
“What happened on my cousin’s shift...”
“I’m in my mid-30s and unfortunately still sleepwalk occasionally. Took a sleepwalking tumble down the stairs last night...”
“Decided to spontaneously get my wife a new plant from an overpriced local florist that I probably can’t afford.”
“Just had this house centipede crawl across my face when I was trying to go to sleep. My skin is crawling.”
“I just remembered I wanted waffles 6 days ago.”
“Pizza place defaults to no cheese, no sauce on Doordash. I didn’t check the boxes to add them.”
“Merry Christmas. I hope your pipes didn’t bust while your electricity was out for 12 hours on Christmas Eve.”
“10-second walk from the store to my car in −2°F/-20°C temps.”
“Hope you enjoy my fruit tart, floor.”
“Don’t take naps while cooking the holiday ham.”
“Right before I left the trampoline park, I put back on my blue shoes. It wasn’t until I got home I realized I didn’t wear my blue shoes to the trampoline park.”
“I just got back to my apartment after winter break and found my bathroom trashed.”
“New prescription glasses. i knew my vision was bad but i didn’t think it was *that* bad”
“If youve never seen an obese axolotl before you’re missing out. This is hank. He has been way over fed by his previous owners and is now on a diet.”
“Just finished my first day at my first office job. Apparently, this sticker was displayed on my @$$ the whole time.”
“My Boss installed a water dispenser yesterday. This morning, we got into the office to this.”
“Take a guess at which window is mine.”
“Pulled out the rack to spritz and it came right out onto the concrete.”
“Had an unexplained allergic reaction for 12 years. Did a bloodtest and turns out I’m allergic to cats. We’ve had cats in our home for 15 years, and we currently have two”
“Kid found the button for the sunroof.”
“IKEA didn’t cut threads on one of four important structural screws.”
“I forgot to remove the silicone protectors before I set the oven to self clean. Thought I’d get my clean pans looking like new!”
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#30 (Correction) 'Here's how your last day on the job went.'
Maybe smoke a smidge less pot (or at least eat junk food like a normal high person and not cook)
i hope, there is a lot of things damaged forever.
That's the Karma for not clearing the roof and harassing other drivers with your iceberg on top.
(The front window is clean, so, you must have been driving already)
#29 short thumb ?
He would've been pulling my foot out of his @$$.
Midge, right?