“My housemates thought it would be a good idea to do this while I was asleep and then leave for the day (With the Key). I have a job interview in 2 hours.”
“When all I want to do is make spaghetti, but all signs point to it not happening.”
“My friend was curling her eyelashes while walking and tripped. This happened:”
“My baby ordered 94 dollars worth of pizza off an app called ‘slice’ that doesn’t ask for payment info verification when placing an order.”
“I got charged per onion ring and not all the rings cost the same amount”
“They forgot to put their drain plugs in.”
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Guessing you're canceling chilli night from now on...
#35 Why do you have spaghetti near your bed?
maggots
we call it alexa
envy much?