1

"How much better athletes are today. I have had some turds tell me that Michael Jordan would just be average today. Shaq can’t shoot. And that the 1980s Lakers would not be competitive today."

2

"A younger millennial once insisted to me that we dial 911 for emergencies in honor of the victims of 9/11."

3

"Just the other day some young person tried to passionately tell me that ‘Shout’ by Tears for Fears was actually written and performed by Depeche Mode. I was so embarrassed for them. They were so sure they were right. Bless their heart."

4

"LOL, my oldest kid told me how O.J. Simpson may have not killed his ex-wife and the matching DNA was likely his son Jason’s. Listen here, I didn’t watch Court TV for six weeks and read 20 books on the case to have you lecture me about a 10-second TikTok clip that ‘solved’ the crime of the century!!! You don’t even know who Kato is!"

5

"I’ve had people tell me I’m making up the nuclear bomb drills we did in elementary school in the ’80s."

6

"A few years back, in an open office, I was quietly listening to music and singing along (my desk was far away from all others so I wasn’t being rude), when a much younger coworker came up and asked how I knew the words to ‘the song’ already, since it just released two days ago by a popular young artist. I said that I had been singing the original for decades. They laughed and said, ‘No, really?"

7

"Missy Elliott at the Super Bowl and the young people posting about how she was trying to be Cardi B or some other current rapper. Lol, when I read those tweets I laughed so hard."

8

"My favorite is when they are like: ‘What’s your source? You have no proof!’ and it’s like: ‘I didn’t read about this, I lived it!"

9

"Hearing: ‘In 1986 you could work part-time at a yogurt shop in LaJolla, California and afford a three-bedroom home on the ocean.’ No. Parts of this country have always been super expensive to live in."

10

"My favorite is the retconned Y2K they had to ‘live through’.

The lead up to Y2K was so monotonous it spawned Office Space"

11

"My dad got laid off twice in the early ’80s, when I was a kid. It was a rough period for a lot of my relatives also. You never hear about that early-’80s recession anymore, people just go, ‘Oh, everyone could buy a big house with just a high school degree.’ There were a ton of homeless people in the ’80s where I grew up also."

12

"I heard a younger coworker complain that Nine Inch Nails ruined Johnny Cash’s ‘Hurt."

13

"Slenderman is the one that really baffles me. Kids are all “It’s real” or treat it like it’s as old as Bloody Mary or something, meanwhile I’m like “I helped invent Slenderman on the Something Awful forums when I was in my 30s.”My own children were terrified of Slenderman when they were younger, and I told them “You know why he has really long fingers? Because a forum Goon called WIIWW suggested it. I know that cause WIIWW is me.”"

14

"For me the most jarring thing is hearing people refer to records as “vinyls”.THEY’RE NOT CALLED VINYLS. THEY WERE NEVER CALLED VINYLS. CALLING RECORDS VINYLS IS LIKE CALLING CDS “PLASTICS”. FFS, STOP THE MADNESS!!!

Records. They’re called records. 12″ records are also called LPs, short for Long Playing Records. 10″ records are EPs, short for Extended Play Records, or 78s (if they are 78RPM). 7″ records are 45s (because 45RPM) or singles.GET OFF MY LAWN."

15

"I was chaperoning a trip to Disney and one of the teens confidently told me The Haunted Mansion ride was based on the movie with Eddie Murphy. She was wondering why Eddie Murphy didn’t appear in the ride. The other Gen X’er I was with explained the ride came first, like Pirates of the Caribbean."

16

"To be fair, I’m certain I argued with my parents about things I was sure happened in the 60s. Now I know how they felt."