"The Paris Hilton sex tape starts with a memorial screen to those who died in 9/11."
"The male giraffe will continuously headbutt the female in the bladder until she urinates. The male then tastes the pee and that helps it determine whether the female is ovulating. If she is, it’s business time."
"For every single human being on Earth, there are 2.5 MILLION ants.
Yes, this means that there are about 20 QUADRILLION ants on this planet."
"The longest place name in the world is Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu"
"Of the few people who have top secret clearance at the White House one of them is the person who writes all of the party invitations."
"Corn flakes were invented to prevent masturbation. John Harvey Kellogg, who invented corn flakes and started the Kellogg brand, believed that a plain diet (including his cereals) would make people masturbate and have sex less. He was also a strong proponent of celibacy, circumcision, and even the removal of the clitoris in cases where people could not kick masturbation."
"There are clouds of alcohol floating around in space."
"Lee Harvey Oswald had straight (non curly) pubic hair."
"The original name for the color orange was “geoluhread,” which means “yellow-red” in Old English"
"Also, the fruit was called orange waaaaay before the colour was."
"When basketball was first invented, at every game, they would have a man who would go up a ladder to retrieve the ball after every basket. It took them around 20 years to figure out maybe it would be a good idea to cut the bottom of the basket out to make retrieving the ball a lot easier. 20 years!!!"
"When someone gets a kidney transplant they generally just cram the new one in and don’t take out the old ones. So the person ends up with three kidneys."
"They continue this with multiple kidney transplants too. Had a patient recently on her third transplant and yep, there’s five kidneys crammed into her abdomen. Too risky to take any of the other ones out."
"When the Lewis and Clark expedition were exploring the west of North America, their diet of dried meat left them constipated. They were all taking these pills called thunder clappers to make themselves sh#t. The active ingredient in thunder clappers is mercury, and historians can track the expedition because they left increased deposits of mercury in the soil."
"Abalones (a snail) have 5 @$$holes."
"Sprinkling powdered sugar on a prolapsed anus will cause it to retract back into place."
"I’m closer to being a millionaire than Bill Gates is."
"A man named Wilmer McLean owned a farm in Manassas, Virginia USA where the very first battle of the US Civil War was fought. After the battle he’s like “I’m outta here” and bought a farm way out in the country at Appomattox Courthouse, Virginia…where Gen. Robert E. Lee surrendered to Gen. Ulysses Grant in McLeans living room four years later."
"The Atari 2600’s release date and the last execution by guillotine happened less than 24 hours apart."
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Well, you'll never forget it now, so....
(Alas, neither will I....)
Ode,
Here's another one for you- a prolapsed anus is known colloquially as a 'pink sock'
religiot americans: doctors have vile knowledge! burn the warlocks and witches!
If you were a veterinarian you'd find this information to be most useful.
A real j#rk-off.