“Guess who forgot their exit plan after staining the stairs. Send help.”
“I hit a pothole on my way to work this morning.”
“Update from yesterday, we are definitely not getting out for a few days”
“Teenager got a gift card for Christmas and this is how he scratched the pin.”
“I was at the park and some kid asked his mom if I was Santa Claus. I’m 47.”
“Passing a kidneystone on my first day of work in the bathroom before our safety meeting where I had to meet everyone. 4mm stone passed after 5 weeks from first sign.”
“Tried melting cheese on my chicken patties inside my air fryer.”
“Almost made it all the way home safely.”
“Are burritos getting smaller?”
“I accidentally spilled Tinga in my new car.”
“Stayed at the Hamilton specifically bc it advertised Hot Breakfast. The chef didn’t show up and there’s nothing for my family to eat.”
“Dropped one of my wireless earbuds on the train tracks all of 10 minutes into the 3 hour trip.”
“Got off work to no road home.”
“Starting the new year with a collapsed lung. At least it should all be uphill from here”
“Just jabbed myself on an invisible knife while washing dishes.”
“Plumbers recklessly ripped through all these supporting floor joists to install pipes.”
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#38 I do...but, not THAT much.
should be good for at least a two week vacation in the sun
Yeah, good thing he read the box and the paper prescription that is included. Otherwise he would never have know it was the wrong medicine.
/s
Use good old bedpan