"At the reception, a guest looked at my cousin’s wife and said, very loudly, “Who brought the whore?” And no, they didn’t know her."
"It was an overcast day, had rained earlier but weather was clearing up. Bride and groom went to take some photos after the ceremony. A kid, probably 6 or 7, unsupervised, ran up to a puddle the bride was carefully walking past and jumped in it. Her dress had mud splatter all the way up to her shoulder. I felt so bad for her."
"Went to a wedding where everything went well. Got to the reception and the alcohol was flowing. My husband and I drank and got on the dance floor. The grooms side were very proper while the brides side were quite the opposite. Everyone is dancing when all of a sudden the cousin of the bride grabs the mic and says “This song is dedicated to your wedding night.”
He motions for everyone to clear the dance floor and cues the DJ. Madonna’s “Justify my love” starts playing as the cousin starts crawling and rolling on the floor while lip syncing. It was easily the most awkward moment while everyone stood there watching his overly sexual performance. The song finally ends and it’s dead silence. I will never forget this moment."
"I was at a wedding reception that easily had 300+ guests. Each table had a centerpiece with a live betta fish in it. When the lights came on, and the wedding party had left, the mother of the bride was begging the kitchen staff for storage containers because they had like 100 fish and no plan for what to do with them after. I was gobsmacked. I also went home with approximately 20 fish."
"The pastor went through and updated the bride’s name in her script, but didn’t accurately change the script for the groom. Sometimes he was John, others Matt, occasionally Mike. The groom had to say “my name is Steve” when the pastor said “repeat after me – I, David, take you…”"
"Outdoor wedding. Bride gently fed wedding cake to her new husband. Groom shoved cake at his new bride’s face so hard that it broke one of her teeth. He kept pushing her until she tripped and fell over backwards. She broke her wrist when she tried to stop the fall. There was blood dripping from her mouth. The groom’s father then began to beat the living sh#t out of his own son. Good times."
"I used to be a wedding registrar. I conducted one wedding where the bride’s father had passed away the year before. The ceremony was held outside in a venue’s walled garden, upon entering the garden to take their seats the guests were met by a skeleton which was dressed up in the father of the bride’s clothes and asked to shake his hand……!!!"
"Charging $2 for a piece of the wedding cake."
"At the afterparty, the groom spent the whole night watching a basketball game on TV at the bar. Couldn’t even be bothered to turn around and say hi to any of the guests. Just sat there at the bar, eyes fixed to the TV the whole time.
When it was time for him to make a speech, he just said “You know, this was supposed to be a special day, but [my team] lost, so I f@#king hate it! F@#k all of you! This s#cks!”
Needless to say, that marriage lasted all of a week or two."
"Bride used old film strips from movie edits/cast offs for decor in the table centerpieces. Flowers and film strips at a quirky fun wedding, looked great right?
She had picked up the box for free and didn’t really look at it. Some of the strips were from schlocky sci-fi nonsense.
Most of them were porn."
"Out door reception, summer in PA. Under a huge covered, wall-less pavilion, maybe 100′ x 200′ with a huge fireplace. 250 people. Wind and rain so bad it was soaked entirely under the whole pavilion. A tornado passed within 100 yds. Wild day."
"Aunt of the groom got so drunk she stripped naked on the dance floor. She snuck back into the wedding and offered people blowjobs. They had to carry her out wrapped in blankets."
"Wedding of a guy I worked with. At the reception a friend of the groom decided this was the time he wanted to pronounce his love for his friend’s new bride by saying “he wanted to eat her pussy.” Fight breaks out groom and friend go to jail. BTW, this wasn’t some trailer park wedding,, everyone involved are engineers and we all worked together."
"A guy showed up to my brother’s wedding wearing shorts, flip flops, and a tshirt with a picture of a fish on the back with the text
“CAN’T CATCH SH#T FISHING TEAM”
I couldn’t make that up if I tried."
"The bride’s veil caught on fire when she and the groom lit the unity candle."
"My boyfriend’s oldest brother’s wedding. One of his mates got plastered, lost control of his bowels and shat himself. In a kilt. Picture the scene – on a dancefloor at a working man’s club in Glasgow, a drunken 40-something standing by himself in an ever-expanding circle of people looking at him in horror whilst an equally expanding puddle of sh#t gathers on the floor. On his calves. On his shoes. Yeah. Yeah."
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