"My Kid Bit My Washing Machine, And Now It Leaks"
"Pulled Up To My Local Bar"
"I Lost My Aldi’s Quarter. Luckily My 4-Year-Old Found It And Is Keeping It In A Safe Place"
"A Large Coffee With A Shot Of Crayola, Please"
"Looked Out The Window To See A Squirrel Taking One Of The Easter Eggs I Had Hidden For My Kids"
"Spent A Pretty Penny Going To The Aquarium. This Was The Fish My Son Was Most Interested In"
"Grandparents Bought This Terrifying Doll For My Daughter. Now My Wife Has To Suffer The Consequences"
"Left My Teenage Son With The Pizza"
"He Wants Something To Make His Hair Grow Back Before School Tomorrow. Triplets And Beard Shavers Don't Mix"
"I Just Found My Son In The Bathroom Like This. "Like Sonic!" No Words. Yes, It's Hair Dye"
"My Friend’s Kid Did This To Their Pantry"
"I Asked My Son To Put The Drinks In The Fridge"
"It Was Too Quiet. Thankfully, It Was Cornstarch This Time. Last Time, It Was A Pound Of Butter"
"10-Year-Old Son Broke A Double-Pane Window With A Ping-Pong Shot"
"Daughter Stole My Keyboard To Play Minecraft And Left A Replacement"
"All Day My 45-Year-Old Husband And 12-Year-Old Son Have Been Playing "Last Hit" (Hit Each Other And Run). I've Begged Them To Stop, Or At Least Go Outside"
"The kid tripped on the stairs and ran into the wall. We have company coming tomorrow."
"My Son Vandalized Our Bathroom And Blamed It On A Monster"
"The Result Of The Kids Brushing Their Teeth. Apparently There Was Some Roughhousing And My Youngest Escaped Into The Safety Of The Shower Behind The Glass Door. They Found A Way In"
"Kids Took Off With My Hair Brush. Later On, I Found It Like This"
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