"I tried to turn my cornbread out of the skillet and the skillet kept all the crust."
"My wife said measure the door, I told her all doors are the same size…"
"I installed my own microwave today and saved $150 in install fees!"
"When you live in Svalbard, Norway and forgot to close the window to the home office."
"I guess you could always get them hemmed."
"A statue of Jesus in India mysteriously began dripping water from its toes. Worshippers started collecting it and drinking it believing it was holy. The source of the water was later found to be a clogged toilet near the statue."
"Whipped myself into a frustrated rage trying to find my drill for half an hour."
"Been waiting 6 weeks for a rather expensive toilet so we can fit it at a client’s house, it has finally arrived."
"No morning swim today."
"Went to Costco to grab a rotisserie chicken for the weekend, but this lady beat everyone to it"
"I guess plumbing isn’t for everyone"
"When it’s your stop and the doors open to this."
"Never stick your head in a hole on a tree to “just see what’s in it.”"
"Today I was extremely sad and I thought “I can’t wait to go home and see my cat, he will make me happy”. Ok well I found out he was more depressed than me."
“I’ve already had a really crappy week and now THIS SHIT, on my way home from work?!”
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#7 who did they make those for Robert Wadlow?
#31 Good mower, bad phone?
yes. all iPhones are bad. it would've broke the next moment he dropped it