1

Carter Burke – Aliens (Paul Reiser) 

"Sssssssss. That’s me making a hissing sound because Burke is a SNAKE.

There are people we inherently mistrust, not because they’ve done anything to warrant suspicion (yet), but because the rotten stench of their hidden nature is oozing out of their pores. That’s Burke – a murderous, lying, self-serving, SNAKE.

Fun fact: In a deleted scene, Ripley finds Burke cocooned on the wall after he’s abducted and infected with a Chestbuster. Burke tells Ripley that he can feel the embryo inside him (the very thing he was trying to do to Ripley and Newt) and begs her for help, to which Ripley responds by handing him a grenade. The deleted scene is included on some ‘Aliens’ DVD/Blu-Rays."

2

Biff Tannen – Back to the Future I, II, and III (Thomas F. Wilson)

"The quintessential bully with an obvious inferiority complex who takes his (probably accurate) feelings of worthlessness, turns them to anger, and projects them onto people who have the misfortune of being physically smaller than his thicc chodey @$$. I’d bring a baseball bat to school if he tried that sh#t with me."

3

Corporal Upham – Saving Private Ryan (Jeremy Davies)

"In a film all about courage, Upham’s cowardice serves as an effective juxtaposition to the bravery of his peers (known in storytelling as a ‘foil’). On an intellectual level, I understand the human mind is complex and fragile. We contain multitudes, and our initial reactions to extreme stress and trauma can sometimes take us by surprise and feel out of our control.

However, on a visceral level, I want to curb-stomp this weak, gutless, worm."

4

Denethor II – Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King* (John Noble)

"The mere mention of Denethor’s tomato gobbling will elicit instantaneous nausea and anger from LOTR fans. The tizzy-gobbler isn’t just a disgusting diner; He’s a shitty dad, terrible ruler, and all-around selfish d#ck. After witnessing him enthusiastically try to commit filicide, there is nothing more satisfying than watching his b#tch @$$ burn. Poor Faramir is going to need a lot of therapy."

5

Warden Samuel Norton – Shawshank Redemption (Bob Gunton)

"You’ll find only corruption and greed in the cold, callous heart of Warden Norton. The devout Baptist uses the incarcerated under his supervision for personal gain (very Christ-like of him) and commits numerous crimes in the process. Love to see that in our prison wardens!

Thank God for Zihuatanejo."

6

Dolores Umbridge – Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Imelda Staunton)

"Pure malevolence wrapped in a perfect, pink, bow. If passive aggression was a sport, Dolores Umbridge would be the Simone Biles of covert hostility. There is nothing more triggering than an undercover demon who pretends to be sweet and innocent but unleashes the most vile shit when no one is looking. And all that pink? Shove it up your @$$, Dolores!"

7

Miss Trunchbull – Matilda (Pam Ferris)

"Ahhh! School is a drag, but Trunchbull makes it a living hell. This disciplinarian (and former Olympic shot putter and hammer/javelin thrower) runs Crunchem Hall Primary like Guantanamo, hammer-throwing a student several hundred feet by the pigtails. She also forces a kid to eat a massive chocolate cake in front of the whole school (which sounds kind of fun, but Trunchbull makes it scary). Like all bullies, she gets hers in the end, fleeing in terror from Matilda’s telekinesis, but we love to hate her in the interim."

8

Paul and Peter – Funny Games (Brady Corbet and Michael Pitt)

"A two-fer! The 2007, American version, of Funny Games is a re-make of the original Austrian film of the same name (same writer/director).

I hate these rich-boy shits with a fiery passion and would like nothing more than to choke the life out of their sadistic @$$es. Their patronizing nonchalance, Little Lord Fauntleroy-esque arrogance, and overt indifference to the suffering of others makes audiences want to go into the television and flip the script on these little psychos."

9

Jar Jar Binks – Star Wars: Episodes I, II, and III (Ahmed Best)

"Unlike most of the characters on this list, Jar Jar isn’t inherently evil (although, one could make an argument his dumb@$$ actions are a product of conscious, weaponized, incompetence), but that doesn’t stop us from loathing him. Between his uncomfortable racist undertones and his complete f@#king stupidity, Jar Jar Binks is pure cringe, stumbling and bumbling his way through the galaxy to the chagrin of Star Wars fans."

10

Commodus – Gladiator (Joaquin Phoenix)

"Hey, I have a great idea. Let’s give a ruthless egomaniac absolute power! Commodus is a nasty, spoiled brat in desperate need of an @$$-whooping. I want to wipe that patronizing smirk off his face… with my fists. Commodus? More like Commode-us. Flush this turd."

11

Mrs. Carmody – The Mist (Marcia Gay Harden)

"This religious nut! When she isn’t inciting riots and causing mass hysteria (in the name of the lord) she’s screaming “Wh#re!” at innocent civilians. The self-righteousness paired with an unapologetic thirst for violence is too… realistic, frankly, and utterly infuriating."

12

Calvin Candie – Django Unchained (Leonardo DiCaprio)

"Of course, we hate a narcissistic psychopath, but a racist, narcissistic psychopath makes us IRATE. It can’t be denied that Leo played Calvin well… too well… like I want to go find Leo and shove that ridiculous cigarette holder in his eyeball. Sorry, Leo."

13

Lex Luthor – Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (Jesse Eisenberg)

"Lex Luthor is an iconic bad guy, and we love to hate him. Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor is an insufferable nutjob we simply hate – full stop. A case of bad casting and unfortunate choices from Eisenberg, who played Lex (a typically restrained, cunning, and calculated supervillain) a little too unstable ‘Joker.’ Rein it in Jesse."

14

Mr. Potter – It’s a Wonderful Life (Lionel Barrymore)

"Scrooge! Buzzkill! Thief of joy! Mr. Potter is just plain mean. He seems like a character who might have a big epiphany by the end of the film and see the error of his ways, but no; He’s a big, fat, greedy, jerk until the bitter end. I guess that makes it more realistic, sadly."

15

Colonel William Tavington – The Patriot (Jason Issacs)

"There are two things at which Colonel William Tavington excels: sneering… and being a sociopath. He’s a brutal, remorseless, and violent family killer. Jason Issacs has been typecast as a villain for very good reason. No one plays it bad like he does, and his role as ol’ TavTav is no exception. He’s the worsttt."

16

Percy Wetmore – The Green Mile (Doug Hutchison)

"Two lessons: Never give power to a nasty pipsqueak like Percy Wetmore, and don’t trust someone who enjoys stomping on poor little animals. This cowardly @$$hole didn’t even have the stones to face his wickedness and would rather live in catatonia than be held to account. Also, cool last name, loser.

Zero redeeming qualities. Die, Wetmore."

17

Nurse Ratched – One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (Louise Fletcher)

"Louise Fletcher won an Academy Award for Best Actress for her portrayal of Nurse Ratched, and it’s easy to see why. Beneath Nurse Ratched’s crisp, white uniform is evil incarnate. Named the fifth greatest villain in film history by the American Film Institute, Nurse Ratched is insidious and cruel, reveling in the misery of others and causing irreparable damage to the mentally vulnerable.

Someone lobotomize this b#tch."