"When people just like show up unannounced. Especially romantic movies. The girl always looks flawless. If a guy just showed up at my doorstep. The most likely result would be me in men's sweats with a bun on top of my head eating Cheetos out of my belly button."
"When someone tries to figure out a password. They'll look around the room and be like, "Paris! Her favorite city - that must be her password!" And it works. F**k all y'all."
"When the characters don't communicate. Seems like there are a lot of movies/stories where there is some sort of dilemma but if they just sat and talked for a minute and explained what happened it would be fine. Seems like lazy writing sometimes."
"Going to any famous landmark and being the only ones there."
"People with 'normal' jobs (waiter, teacher, etc) having a cool, large apartment in one of the most expensive cities in the world (NY, LA, London, etc)."
"No one ever finishes a meal or their drinks. They always leave half full plates on the table or open a beer, take one sip, and leave it on the counter never to touch it again. Wasteful bastards."
"The "ugly girl" in movies is actually super hot but just wearing glasses and has her hair in a bun."
"When they "enhance" a photo in order to get the information they want. YOU CANT ENHANCE THAT S**T LIKE THAT, A GRAINY PHOTO WILL STILL BE A GRAINY PHOTO, YOU'VE JUST BLOWN IT UP IN SIZE."
"When someone is being chased by a car. Why the f**k do they ALWAYS continue running on a straight road?! You obviously cannot outrun a car."
"Drinking from obviously empty cups."
"When two people want to talk privately and they casually step like 5 feet away in the same room, like nobody else in the room wouldn't be able to hear them."
"All the bad guys are horrible shots and the heroes never miss."
"Teachers giving one motivation speech and suddenly all kids turn into saints."
"Inaccuracy in portrayal of pregnancy. Like oh 10 weeks and the baby is kicking. Or when "it's time" the woman is rushed to the hospital and goes through a birth in a few minutes. All LIES!!!!"
"How everyone in highschool is in their late 20's."
"Covering someones mouth in duct tape. S**t don't stick to wet, humid surfaces. Breathing causes humidity. Might not fall clean off, but it wouldn't stifle speech.Edit: Too many of you know too much about how many times to wrap tape around someone's head lol."
"It gets to me when people are driving and they move the steering wheel way to much for driving on a straight road. Do that in real life and you're all over the road."
"In a dystopian future where water and resources are scarce, everyone has the magical ability to shave their legs, chest and armpits and groom their eyebrows.I'm willing to forgive well kept hair, but the whole "waxed body" thing is dumb."
"Drastic age differences between couples for the sake of casting a young hot actress in the role over one that's realistically more the equal to the actor."
"When people are pretending to play instruments and they clearly have absolutely no idea what they are doing. The prop department could at least teach them how to hold the f*****g things, it makes me so angry."
"When one character says, "Quick, turn on your TV!" and the other character just happens to be on the right channel. Ugh. No. There're like 800 channels with basic cable."
"Cars don't explode when shot at. That's lazy filmmaking.*edit*TIL, people like their cars exploding, gawshdurnit.*edit edit*Also, I call it lazy filmmaking because, well, it f*****g is. If you want to build excitement or intensity, do so with a better plot or with better pacing. Not random, arbitrary explosions. Unless, you are looking to make just a stupid action flick, it's a silly thing to waste the money on shooting."
"Defibrillators - They don't bring back people from the dead. *Edited* - as in they are not used to re-start a stopped/flatline/asystole) (my new word of the day) heart."
"Unemployed actors living in huge Manhattan lofts."
"That nobody seems to need to go to the bathroom. Ever.Edi: Ok not ALL movies. But never just natural. Like rom coms drinking all night? Where's the broken seal? No one's ever like, hang on I have to pee every 5 seconds."
"What really grinds my gears is whenever they show a scene of a car pulling away from ANYWHERE, the tires ALWAYS screech or burn-out."
"When the "perp" is being interviewed by a cop and asks for a lawyer but the cop goes something like " okay but that'll make you look guilty" or some other b******t like that. Asking for a lawyer is the magic stop button in police interviews, they aren't allowed to ask you anything else until you speak with a lawyer."
"When people pause before shooting someone, giving them a chance to do something completely unrealistic to get away. If there's somebody dangerous and I have a gun pointed at them I'm going to just shoot, no questions asked. I'll drop my pun after k**ling them."
"I absolutely hate when a couple is fighting or arguing really aggressively and that somehow turns into them having s*x. WUT."
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A parent or a close friend dies, character 1 is SO sad, character 2 gives hug and then BAM! Torrid sex!
Grief can make you horny, look it up.
Everything makes me horny. Look!...It's up!
Stop doing that scene.
Person leaves apartment in morning.
Returns later that evening……every light in every room is turned on.
Stop doing that scene.
Foot-chase thru streets & alleys.
Person pursued always stops and looks around corner.
Why not just yell ‘Hey! I’m over here!’…..?
Stop doing that scene.
Hero gets the snot knocked out him during movie.
He gets shot….bloody feet…..numerous fists to the face.
But at end of movie is able to walk, smirk, and wisecrack his way out.
Stop doing that scene.
Person is pursued by big, noisy dinosaur/monster.
Person keeps looking back to see if big noisy monster is still pursuing.
Stop doing that scene.
Husband is in hotel with mistress.
Mistress (usually naked except for wearing his shirt) is on bed teasing man while he’s speaking to wife on phone.
Mistress is poking and giggling.
Wife: ‘What’s that? Is someone there with you?’
Husband: ‘No….that’s the TV…..’…. covers receiver and tries to shoo dumbass mistress away.
Stop doing that scene.
Girl being chased by chainsaw guy.
Instead of hiding behind a bush and being real quiet, she chooses to scream real loud while she’s running away.
May as well scream ‘I’M OVER HEEEERE!’
Stop doing that scene.
Evil bad guy gets beaten senselessly by dumb teens he’s kidnapped.
Teens make their escape, only to be stopped by same bad guy somehow managed to get ahead of them despite being smashed in the head/face/shins repeatedly.
Stop doing that scene.
You've just committed the cardinal sin of too many words. The hard-line negative commenters that don't have a life outside of Izismile have unofficially declared that verboten here. I've upvoted you, but you probably won't get any more. Which means you will. Which means you won't. Which means you will. Which means now their heads are exploding.
both of you: TL/DR
See, Cameron? If I didn't write what I wrote, you would have been downvoted back to the Stone Age. It takes little to no effort to control most of the sad pathetic commenters here. And, It's fun!
Wow, you not only knew the dead guy had a wife, but knew her birthday? And, since when does ANYONE, much less a spy, have a four digit password??