Goldman Sachs Guide To How To Be A Real Man (14 pics)

Posted in Interesting       17 May 2018       4320       1

People at Goldman Sachs, one of the largest (and oldest) investment banks on the globe, have made a set of rules you might want to follow to be a Man amongst men.

It’s worth noting that this is written by fellas who probably sip champagne for breakfast and sleep on beds made of money, so, take it with a grain of salt.

The Unofficial Goldman Sachs guide to being a man:

-Stop talking about where you went to college.

-Always carry cash. Keep some in your front pocket.

-Rebel from business casual. Burn your khakis and wear a suit or jeans.

-It’s ok to trade the possibility of your 80s and 90s for more guaranteed fun in your 20s and 30s.

-Never stay out after midnight three nights in a row… Unless something really good comes up on the third night.


-You will regret your tattoos.

-Never date an ex of your friend.

-Join Twitter; become your own curator of information.

-If riding the bus doesn’t incentivise you to improve your station in life, nothing will.

-Time is too short to do your own laundry.


-When the bartender asks, you should already know what you want to drink.

-If you perspire, wear a damn undershirt.

-Hookers aren’t cool, but remember, the free ones are a lot more expensive.

-When people don’t invite you to a party, you really shouldn’t go.
 And sometimes even when you are invited, you shouldn’t go.

-People are tired of you being the funny, drunk guy.


-When in doubt, always kiss the girl.

-Tip more than you should.

-You probably use your mobile phone too often and at the wrong moments.

-Buy expensive sunglasses. Superficial? Yes, but so are the women judging you. And it tells these women you appreciate nice things and are responsible enough not to lose them.


-Do 50 push-ups, sit-ups, and dips before you shower each morning.

-Eat brunch with friends at least every other weekend.

-Leave Rusty and Junior at home.

-Be a regular at more than one bar.

-Act like you’ve been there before. It doesn’t matter if it’s in the end zone at the Super Bowl or on a private plane.

-A glass of wine or two with lunch will not ruin your day.

-Learn how to fly-fish.


-No selfies. Aspire to experience photo-worthy moments in the company of a beautiful woman.

-Own a handcrafted shotgun. It’s a beautiful thing.

-There’s always another level. Just be content knowing that you are still better off than most who have ever lived.

-You can get away with a lot more if you’re the one buying the drinks.

-Ask for a salad instead of fries.

-Don’t split a check.


-Pretty women who are unaccompanied want you to talk to them.

-When a bartender buys you a round, tip double.

-Be spontaneous.

-Find a Times New Roman in the streets and a Wingdings in the sheets. She exists.

-Piercings are liabilities in fights.

-Do not use an electric razor.


-Desserts are for women. Order one and pretend you don’t mind that she’s eating yours.

-Buy a tuxedo before you are 30. Stay that size.

-One girlfriend at a time is probably enough.


-Your ties should be rolled and placed in a sectioned tie drawer.

-Measure yourself only against your previous self.

-Take more pictures. With a camera.


-Place-dropping is worse than-name dropping.

-Your clothes do not match. They go together.

-Yes, of course you have to buy her dinner.

-Staying angry is a waste of energy.

-If she expects the person you are 20% of the time, 100% of the time, then she doesn’t want you.

-Always bring a bottle of something to the party.


-Don’t use the word “closure” or ever expect it in real life.

-If you are wittier than you are handsome, avoid loud clubs.

-Date women outside your social set. You’ll be surprised.

-If it’s got velvet ropes and lines, walk away unless you know someone.

-You cannot have a love affair with whiskey because whiskey will never love you back.

-If you believe in evolution, you should know something about how it works.


-No-one cares if you are offended, so stop it.

-Never take an ex back. She tried to do better and is settling with you.

-Eating out alone can be magnificent. Find a place where you can sit at the bar.

-Read more. It allows you to borrow someone else’s brain, and will make you more interesting at a dinner party — provided that you don’t initiate conversation with, “So, who are you reading…”

-Ignore the boos. They usually come from the cheap seats.

-Don’t ever say, “it is what it is.”


-Don’t gamble if losing $US100 is going to piss you off.


-Remember, “rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men.”

Comments (1):

Varan1 1 year ago MARK AS SPAM
I used to believe bullshit like this. Sad, wasted days!