"Demanded to know how to say “Hola in Spanish” would not accept that hola was already Spanish, cried for hours"
"After a couple slices of pizza, 3 year old bursts into tears and says:
“My mouth wants more but my tummy doesn’t!”
Me too, kid. Me too."
"My toddler got mad that her poop came out in two pieces instead of one. She accused my husband of cutting it while she wasn’t looking."
"My daughter had a complete existential breakdown one day when she found out that she was going to have to pee every day of her life"
"IDK if this is too gross, but when my son was 3, he had a tummy bug and came to me crying that his “butt threw up”"
"Toddler & I are in the truck for a 3-hour, mostly freeway trip. Toddler asks if she can have her window down. Begs. Says pretty please. Whines that she NEEDS the window down. Answer is no… we’re going 70 mph for the next few hours. Thus begins the wailing! She cries, and cries… and cries. The window’s not going down, I’m tuning her out, no problem, the music is on, I’m just driving and life is good.
After probably 45 minutes of this, she slows down, gulps a few times, and in a tremulous voice asks, “Mommy, why am I crying?”
I laughed so hard I nearly ran off the road. If you don’t remember, I’m not telling you, Kid."
"When my daughter was three, I told her to stop trying to draw on the dog with crayons. She threw the crayon on the floor, looked me dead in the eye and yelled, “Daddy, you’re ruining my life!”"
"Overheard at a grocery store: mom let her little boy pick out some ice cream. Kid chooses some sort of chocolate banana popsicle and mom says no. Kid starts crying. Mom says “I thought you didn’t like bananas.” Kid immediately stops crying, says “Oh yeah”, and picks something else."
"My daughter (about 5) threw a wadded up piece of paper at us and ran away. We opened it up and she had written, “can I have a snake?”. Wife yelled “no, you may not” and my daughter then came back almost in tears to ask why not. She said, “I ate all of my dinner so why can’t I have one?” Wife asked what that had to do with snakes at which point we realized she had misspelled “snack”. Also, my son put us in a sort of reverse “timeout” once when he got angry. This consisted of him going into his room and refusing to come out… leaving us in peace and quiet. He essentially played himself."
"My 3yo had a meltdown because he wasn’t in our 5 year old wedding photos. He said we didn’t love him and that’s why we didn’t even invite him to our wedding."
"My nephew had a breakdown and cried when his boot wouldnt fit on his head like a hat."
"My aunt and younger cousin were visiting us once. He was 3 years old at the time, and my neighbors had a 3 y/o as well. They were playing together in my backyard, when I hear my cousin scream “no, I’M 3! You CAN’T be 3, I’M THREE” while tackling the other child."
"My little sister, laying on her back, staring straight into the lamps: “My eyes hurt!”
“Then stop staring at the lamp.”
"My kids used to complain when I couldn’t change the weather.
“No, we can’t go to the park, it’s pouring.”
“Mom, just make it stop raining.”
Little kids really do think their parents can do anything, apparently."
"My boy cried when, after stuffing his sandwich in the VHS recorder (early 90s), there was no movie about sandwiches."
"My 2 year old puts her hand in front of the dog’s mouth and cries when he licks her."
"My daughter wanted to drink pure lemon juice and threw a fit when she was denied.
I caved on the premise of natural consequences. One sip and she vomited. She never bugged us about it again."