"Leave gates how you find them – they are open or closed for a reason."
"(1/2)
Corn doesn’t look like corn.
Seems obvious, but it wasn’t to the inlaws.
The family went for a walk on the farm during the inlaws’ first 4th of July party. The 10 yr old boy asks, ”What’s that?” and points to the corn."
"(2/2)
His mom looks confused and stays silent.
“That’s corn,” I said. The kid looked at me like I was nuts. “That’s not corn, corn is yellow!”
When I pulled back the husk he looked at me like I was a magician. Wait until I explained potatos to him…"
"These towns are small. I mean, small.
One time I played a gig in Wisconsin and the dude at the bar says, hey you’re not from around here huh?
I said how could you tell, my accent?
He said, no I just never seen you before
Mind = Blown"
"People know each other.
My in-laws’ family hails from a tiny Idaho town. First time I was there with my then-gf, a random old-timer “downtown” introduced himself and said “you must be Peggy’s granddaughter’s boyfriend”.
He was right, so I asked him how he knew.
“Well, she said you’d be coming, and you don’t look related to anyone here, so… you must be him”."
"Being in the country has more privacy but far less anonymity."
"How much noise there is from bugs after dark."
"Just because a party is in the middle of the woods or a field doesn’t mean the police won’t break it up."
"It gets dark. very dark."
"Don’t walk behind a horse, don’t touch random metal fences unless you want to get a shock, and everyone you meet either cares too much or couldn’t give a sh#t about you."
"If they are talking to you about someone else, they sure as hell are talking about you to everyone else."
"If your car breaks down (in the daytime) and someone (not a cop) pulls up behind you, that person is about to volunteer to do minor mechanical work or even flat tow your car for free.
If its nighttime, lock your doors. It ain’t all sweet out here."
"Coyotes are not like dogs stop feeding them."
"In the city you ignore sirens and worry about gunshots. In the country you ignore gunshots and worry about sirens"
"Chances are that everyone in the local grocery store already knows all about you even if you’ve never spoken directly to them.
They also probably already know what you drive and where you live. This is all true for a smallish town, at least."
"The best fruit isn’t sold at Whole Foods. It’s sold on the corner of a field by some dude"
"Purple spray paint on fence posts and trees means no trespassing."
"Leaves of 3, let them be."
"When you’re in the middle of nowhere, it doesn’t matter if you don’t like your neighbors, you’re all each other have out there.
Bicker all you want, but when sh#t hits the fan, you get the food off my table and the shirt of my back."
"We aren’t in any hurry and you can’t make us."
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Meaning what? Only hillbillies give a damn about community?
Couldn’t be more accurate
It is okay to take a mans wife, but not his property or dog.
If you do not know what you are doing, do not worry somebody else does know what you are doing.
Did you arrive here with the correct wife? Do not worry you will leave here with the correct wife.
Disputes are settled at the river, what happens at the river stay at the river.