"I sh#tted the bed and blamed the dog."
"They were looking for something, and I knew where it was. So I moved it somewhere they’d never look lol"
"Was bullied by a kid a lot in 6th grade. I met his older sister at a bar when I was 21 and slept with her.
I didn’t rub it in his face since I never talked to him after 6th grade, but I’m sure he knows."
"I made an entire bar break out in a brawl because I ate a bag of chips. No joke.
Three guys were verbally harassing me in a small-town dive bar. This woman comes in from a smoke and yells to the bartender “give me a bag of chips!” on her way to the bathroom.
He sets them down at her seat next to me. I inhale these chips and carefully slide them near the guys when they aren’t looking.
She comes out, sees the bag and starts getting in their faces. Her husband sees the commotion and gets involved and fists start flying.
I ducked out as the husband entered."
"Hit a person with a cactus once…"
"Got my Christian school bully’s parents divorced.
I forget what TGIF show I lifted the bit from but when I met the kids mom I said “then who was that lady your dad kissed?”.
Which set off a chain reaction that eventually led to their divorce that very year.
I was just trying to be a smart aleck but I got a natural 20 and sh#t just sorta happened."
"Had a wet fart in bed and blamed the wife"
"They usually do it to themselves from my experience I just sit back and watch the stupid and let them know I love this part."
"Eat a nature valley bar in their bed."'
"Old landlord wouldn’t give me back my deposit that I felt should have been given back. Went back in one last time, removed a wall light switch cover, broke a hole in the electrical box and poured a bag of sugar into the wall.
Put the switch cover back on and left. They fought roaches and bugs for months.
It’s the little things that help me get through life."
"Walking away and living rent-free in their head."
"I heated up both sides of their pillow before they slept."
"It’s not really revenge so much as karma, but my ex who cheated on me with another woman found out that she was lying to him about who she was…
Apparently, she was married, had 3 kids, didn’t look like her photos, had a different job than what she said etc. basically had been catfishing him lol
I didn’t have much empathy for him and I said “yeah it sucks being lied to and trusting someone to be who they claim to be, being lead on and have the values they claim to have etc”"
"I cut a piece of my cousins hair off while she was sleeping."
"Found out my then boyfriend was cheating on me so I gave him a pregnancy scare"
"My ex got with my best friend, so I started talking to him again, getting with him, got to the point where we were close to getting into a relationship, then got with one of his friends"
"I taught the dog to destroy my parent’s things when I was mad as a kid…"
"My lil sister once got me trouble when we were little so I snuck bologna in her pillow and she slept on it for weeks until it molded"
"Had a fight in school with a guy because im close friends with his girl
F#@ked his girl on the weekend."
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How the hell does that work? What a load of male bovine excrement.