Will You Marry Me? After My Gonorrhea Clears Up
In Nebraska, it is illegal to marry someone with a sexually transmitted infection. The law reads,“No person who is afflicted with a venereal disease shall marry in this state.”
Teachers Can’t Mention Hand-holding
In Tennessee, the Gateway Sexual Behavior Law prohibits teachers from discussing anything that could be considered a “gateway” to sex. Kissing? Hand-holding? Not around these parts! What about flirting? “Are you from Tennessee?”
Stop It! Stop Biting Arms Off!
In Rhode Island, it’s illegal to bite someone’s arm off. How many people were biting people’s arms off to get this on the books? Do they think Derry is a real place? How long would it take? So many terrifying questions I want to have answered.
No Dancing Near Cemeteries
In South Carolina, you cannot have a dance hall within a quarter-mile of a church or cemetery.
No Hitting Vending Machines
Well, Mr. Hanson, that’s too bad because in Derby, Kansas it’s illegal to hit a vending machine.
Bingo Time Limit
In North Carolina, a game of Bingo cannot last more than five hours. Nanas everywhere are furious.
No, You Can’t Sell Your Eyes!
“The eyes of Texas are upon you,” and they are watching to make sure you don’t sell your eyes or any other organs.
Snowballs? More Like No Balls
Until 2019 it was illegal to throw snowballs in Severance, Colorado. A 9-year-old boy got this law overturned after pleading his case to the local council. Or maybe he threatened them with ice balls.
No R-rated Movies at the Drive-In
In the 1970s films started to show a lot more nudity and violence. Delaware families who lived nearby drive-ins complained that their children could see everything shown on the screen.
No Booze? This Blows!
In 1974, Florida passed a law that allowed the state to ban the sale of alcohol during a hurricane. They were trying to cut down on “hurricane parties.” I can only imagine what goes on at those shin digs.
Please Don’t Shoot the Fish
No shooting fish in a barrel in Wyoming! Outside of killing a fish with a firearm, the law also explicitly states you cannot “wound” a fish with a gun either.
No Swearing At Sporting Events
You’ll receive a $50 fine in Massachusetts if you’re caught swearing at players or officials during a sporting event. Are you f@#king kidding me? Do you know how long the Red Sox were bad?!
Post No Billboards
Most likely to preserve the island’s natural beauty, billboards are illegal in Hawaii.
“The Right to Dry Law”
In 2009 Vermont made it illegal to ban the use of clotheslines. Karens from neighborhood associations were getting them banned as they saw them as ugly.
No Bear Wrestling!
In Alabama, it’s illegal to promote or engage in a bear wrestling match.
No Dominoes on Sunday Either!
You also cannot play dominoes in Alabama on a Sunday.
It’s okay, The Noid. We think Domino’s pizza is still legal…for now.
Locked Up for Cheating
You can receive up to 90 days in prison and a $500 fine for adultery in New York. I wonder if the Wall Street bros know about this one.
Silly String Ban
Since 1996, silly string has been banned in Southington, Connecticut. This became law after the great Apple Harvest Festival debacle of 1995. Hooligan children went nuts with the goopy string and must’ve pissed a lot of people off.
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what about the owners arm?
Imagine waking upafter the 1st night, she's laying on your arm and her makeup is worn off.
There ARE situations, where you would rather chew your arm off, than to wake her up again...
"Florida Man Buys Alcohol For Hurricane Party, Found Dead Eleven Miles From House Naked, With D@#k Stuck In Alligator."
"Doesn't say anything about explosives."
"Kids, grab the dynamite! We're goin' fishin'! Yeehaw!"