“He uses my boobs as stress balls in his sleep. I regularly wake up to him repeatedly squeezing and kneading my boobs while he’s knocked out and snoring.”
“Eats bowls of cereal dry. No milk ever. Now he’s taught our kids to do the same.”
“When he’s alone, he talks to himself in the 3rd person, making comments on the things he’s doing. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, he’s made the best omelet in history. He’s the man of the year.’ I’m glad he does it loudly, it’s hilarious.”
“Takes showers with the door open. If we lived together, I wouldn’t have a problem with this. But he lives with his mom and sister.”
“Mine is a nurse and will randomly check my pulse and various other things about me without telling me. I catch her doing it sometimes. I fear I am some weird experiment to her.”
“My wife is a neat freak. However, I noticed that when she runs out of toilet paper, she will just take the new roll and stand it on top of the empty tube instead of replacing it. I asked her why she does that, and she said, ‘It’s the one thing I allow myself to be lazy about.’ I think it’s hilarious.”
“When he wakes up in the morning, he puts on ALL his clothes, just to walk to the bathroom, take them off and have a shower. Why?? I will never understand that lol.”
“He always finds random objects around the house to make into a ‘hat’ for me. Fresh laundry? Hat. Random plushies? Hat. Bubble wrap? Hat. Then he makes one for himself, we take a funny picture, and hang it on our ‘hat photos’ wall.”
“She sleeps with her eyes open occasionally and will also sometimes laugh like someone just told her the greatest joke ever told while sleeping. I’ve accepted my little demon.”
“He randomly licks me. We will be cuddling and he just will lick my shoulder real quickly. I don’t get it.”
“She never eats the last bite of anything. She’ll always have a bite left on her plate after a meal. She’s never once, in the 20 years I’ve been with her, eaten the last piece of pizza. She’ll never take the last peanut. I’ve never seen her finish a can of Pringles. Upside for me: I get the last everything.”
“My youngest had trouble learning to eat solids, and my wife spent like 6 months mimicking eating to her. It’s now 9 years later, and after every first bite of a meal, she goes, ‘MMMMMMMMMM!’ It’s a charming relic of a stressful time in life.”
“Mine will ‘play’ our fat cat like bagpipes. (Without hurting her) He’ll hold her under one arm until she makes her annoyed growl/whine, then pat her belly to make the noise change pitch and rhythm. Also, the cat is obsessed with him and will let him do this for ages. If she runs away she comes back to him in two minutes to do it again. Weirdo creeps, both.”
“Blames his farts on inanimate objects. Examples include the house, a cat, me (we were the only people in the room), a plastic dinosaur, and a sandwich.”
“He likes to simulate rocket launches and landings on my boobs. Not necessarily weird but interesting. He’s taught me a lot about space and physics though so I can’t complain lol.”
“He does this loud chicken noise (like a baw-kak!) just randomly and it could be anywhere. It’s never been inappropriate, but it’s always surprising and I laugh every freaking time.”
“When he’s the big spoon, he rests his head on my back, as he hugs me tight around the waist he goes, ‘CLICK! I’M A BACKPACK!'”
“She eats corn on the cob vertically.”
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i mean all of these posts come from reddit... so it's worse than Twitter
or she is just lazy and by not finishing she won't have to take away the trash/plate.