1

2

"I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because she made the Subway guy cry. She had asked for light mayo and he put too much, so he scraped off the extra. She scolded him until he was holding back tears and that’s when I realized that she wasn’t just ambitious, she was an @$$hole."

3

"She hit me with a car. On purpose."

4

"When her phone vibrated on the chair next to me and it was a text from her ex, “I miss you too”

“too” implied she said it first.

Yeah, no, bye."

5

"He had a public screaming meltdown at a screening of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 because a family was accidentally sitting in our assigned seats."

6

"He told our daughter he never liked her and couldn’t stand to be around her"

7

"I sliced my index finger open to the bone at work, needed a ride to the hospital, and she complained the whole time about just wanting to get home and have a drink, couldn’t care less about me being in pain and upset that I wouldn’t be able to play guitar for months (I am a professional musician who gigs often). I was like nope, what if something debilitating happened to me, she would just bounce."

8

"I saw a healthy relationship and finally understood how screwed my own was with my fiance at the time.

I flew out to meet my newborn nephew, and saw how attentive and caring my brother and sister-in-law were to one another, amidst sleep deprivation and learning to keep a tiny human alive. I realized my own partner would be raising his voice, flipping out, or be completely checked out and leaving all the work to me, if I ever got pregnant.

It was funny because at that point, most people in my family had tried to get me to see the light about my relationship, and what it actually took was seeing a solid example of a healthy marriage."

9

"After 3 years together I asked what we were doing and he said “I don’t know”.

So I said “let’s start from first principles then, do you love me?”

And he said “I don’t know”"

10

"When she got mad and told me to get over my best friends death 3 days after he died. He was KIA in Afghanistan. She told me that I needed to start paying her attention and that he’s dead and there’s nothing I can do. Broke up with her right there and then"

11

"I beat her at a game of Halo, she choked me against a door pissed off about it. I was done."

12

"He said he was going to take the weekend to think about us and he took my paycheck to okc and spent it on strippers."

13

"She moved out and tried to take 2 of our 4 kids with her. She was moving in with a guy from her work, and her brilliant idea was that she’d take the two younger kids and I’d take the two older ones. Her sister helped me talk her into returning the kids, and I won custody of all 4 in the divorce."

14

"Turns out he was gay. He’s my best friend now but damn there’s no working around that."

15

"It’s funny and it’s wrong and we aren’t connected anymore so she won’t ever see this- she fully pooped during an orgasm once. Like all over my member, all over the bed. And she’s moaning the whole time with a look of pure horror on her face. 

I’m not freaking out at first cause I’ve been soaked before- then it got warmer and it didn’t run and it just sat there and my brain started screaming. I could never get that night out of my head- we couldn’t have sex at all after cause that’s where my head went. I hope she’s okay and happy in love and f@#k I hope he’s not good in bed, for his sake."

16

"My partner forgot our anniversary for the third year in a row, despite promising they’d remember this time"

17

"She kicked my 14 year old dog because he was making a “weird old dog noise” that creeped her out when she was drunk. B#tch, its called weezing, he was just trying to breath. I don’t care how cute you are. You don’t kick a mans puppers."