"His words : ‘your daughter is a financial terrorist’"
betsybasset
"I’m the s/o in this case – first time I met my future father in law, he took us to a NFL game in New York (could be just outside, I’m aussie – so don’t remember exactly where it was). There was a brawl in the stadium which had people tumbling down the seats and state troopers coming in. Everyone was shouting “get fatty” as the main instigator was a fat, bald guy. I told my father in law to hide before the cops grabbed him."
shaftautopump
"I lived with my parents when my husband and I were dating. He would come over, and either he would sit on the bed and me sometimes at my pc, or vice versa.
My mom would come into the room and ask what we were doing. We would always say, “making out.” To which her reply was always, ” I may be old but I remember making out, and this isn’t it.”
Fast forward to wedding a year later, and we had to go back by my parents house the next day. We walk in, and my husband puts his arm around my mom, and says, “you know, there WAS a whole lot more to that making out.” I was absolutely mortified."
Mimsy34
"My boyfriend once called me a c#nt in front of my dad.
My dad’s reaction was just to tell him that he shouldn’t say it in front of my mom, who isn’t a fan of the word."
MaesterOfPanic
"On our wedding night my husband told my mother to “get the baby clothes ready because he was blowing it inside.”"
Zznot
"My S/O looked at the crucifix (with the crown of thorns and blood) my parents have hanging on the wall over their bed’s headboard, and said, “Doesn’t that make you feel inhibited?”"
Back2Bach
"My husband told my parents we weren’t coming back to the house as long as my sister was living there. It was the bravest thing anyone has ever done for me, and I know what it cost him to hurt them that way, but it benefitted me and so he did it. Side note, sister is a drunk, abusive person and my husband is the first person to stand up for me and worry about my mental and emotional health. I love him so deeply"
odnadevotchka
"My fiancé is a real blokey bloke. He used to wink at my dad all the time in a flirtatious way just to make him uncomfortable for a laugh. My dad was so awkward the first few times and now it’s their ‘thing’, they just wink at each other at random times. Literally a bromance right there.
But no before you ask they’re definitely not gay, just like a good laugh!"
beakindperson
"The first time I brought my wife home, it was on a weekend my father was supposed to be away for some camping. Well, he gets home early because of bad weather, so I’m now in the obligation of presenting him this girl that’s in my room downstairs. Eventualy, we get out of my bedroom as my father is starting to prepare dinner. As he sees her, he asks: “Wow, I wonder what a wonderful woman like you eats to stay this beautiful!”
Her answer? “Well, this morning? Your son.”
Yup. What a way to make a good first impression. Good thing is that it’s exactly my dad’s type of humor, otherwise, it could have gone bad."
Oneiric86
"My mom was trying to recover after telling a really long winded joke that just didn’t land, and after a couple excruciatingly cringe-filled seconds of no one laughing, my boyfriend said “oh, I didn’t get it because it wasn’t funny…” With a kind of playful smirk on his face. Maybe the hardest I’ve ever laughed."
thebachmann
"My boyfriend texted my dad “you suck d@#k like a porn star” It was meant for me They still laugh about it"
david-bowies-bulge
"My bf’s dad asked me if he does any house work (when he moved in with me, literally had met him for 10 mins) and I said “yes he does, but I f@#k him…so that’s probably why he does what I ask”
His dad kind of gave this “fair point” nod to me"
thelostwhore
"I dated a girl years ago who told my mother, on Christmas Eve, that I thought I was impotent. The truth is, I was wondering if I was infertile, as I had been exposed to a lot of xrays in my fun zone as a child. She mixed up the words. So, this lead to me going to my mother’s bedroom, on Christmas Eve, in my undies, to knock on her door to tell her that I am not impotent."
brickout
"Was having dinner with my mom and my brand new boyfriend at the time when he started hugging me at the table (the kind of hug a child gives to a pet rabbit where you just feel bad for the creature receiving the love).
I say, “Don’t. Stop.” He responds, “Don’t stop? Okay” I grumbled and said, “No, there’s a period in there.” Without missing a beat he said, “Girl you know a period never stopped me.” In front of my mom."
PMYourBeard
"Second time my boyfriend was meeting my parents, Dad kept saying he could’ve sworn when I was a baby I had a birth mark on my @$$. I was arguing that I didn’t, my boyfriend chimed in to confirm."
Cum___Dumpster
"My girlfriend and I were on a ski trip with my parents, and this was the first time she would be spending an extended amount of time with them. In the morning while getting ready, my dad walks out in his long johns and underarmor top, and overall tight-fitting outfit.
My girlfriend wasn’t really expecting this, and my dad caught her looking his way. And my dad, as always one to put someone on the spot (in a fun way), says “whatchya looking at?”
Without a moment’s hesitation, my girlfriend goes: “Just checking out the older model.”
Needless to say she was instantly accepted into the family."
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