1

"When it´s hard to convince someone to do something: give them options. That way they feel like they´re in control. “You could do A or do you prefer B?”"

"I use that trick on my kids all the time. Especially when it comes to food.

“Do you want chicken or steak?”

Otherwise, if I just ask her what she wants for dinner she’ll just say “cookies”."

2

"Ive seen this a lot in airports and in some stores, but having a mirror behind the cashier/receptionist often stops people from being angry because once you start to see what you look like angry you begin calming down."

3

"4 seconds of silence can feel the same as rejection in the brain.

So if someone is being a j#rk to you, after they say something just look at them and count to 4 in your head, most of the time they’ll start backtracking and taking back what they said before you’re done counting."

4

"Never stand anywhere for more than 60 seconds and you’ll always look busy. Also, walk fast.

When I moved to LA many many years ago I landed a job on a reality TV show. My friend who got me the job was complaining one day about one of the other PAs and how they just wander around all day doing nothing. But when she sees me, I’m always busy. I pointed out that I too also wander around all day doing nothing, I just walk faster."

5

"Whenever anyone says anything, and I want to add more information to their statement, I try to start with “I agree with you!” or something that expresses positivity about their statement. I also try to give people compliments as often as appropriately possible. It makes people more apt to be agreeable to my future conversations."

6

"When my buddy and I were under 21 he would use a technique he called “the Costanza” when he would attempt to buy beer. This involved him appearing as annoyed and angry as possible when approaching the counter and 8 out of 10 times he was successful in buying us beer for the night. Those were some good times."

7

"If in need, instead of asking “anyone” to help you, ask a specific person “hey, you there in the green shirt could you give me a hand”…"

8

"I find cunninghams law works surprisingly well. ie the quickest way to get someone to tell you the right answer is to post the wrong answer."

9

"If you want them to like you, ask them questions. (like for assistance)

For some reason people love it when you put them in a position where they are assisting you. I think it makes them feel smart and important and, in a way, tells them that the knowledge they have is critical to the functioning of whatever dynamic is going on."

10

"Worked security for several years, smile and be friendly at the angry @$$holes. It’s very satisfying to watch them fizzle and feel awkward as there’s no one for them to react off of.

The security guards that try to act all tough, angry and mean are typically the worst security guards."

11

"Reflective echo – it’s a trick they use in law enforcement when conducting an interview. You pick up anything said with emotion and repeat it to prompt a further reaction."

12

"If you are walking towards someone and you think you are heading towards a “which way do we pass by each other” dance – indicate which way you want to go with your shoulders (rather than your head). I don’t recall where I heard this but it works almost every time."

13

"Be underestimated. This is the one that I prefer. I’m not hurting anyone, and I can just blend into the background. It’s good if you are tired of people being dicks to you or trying to play power games with you and you just want to be left alone."

14

"Don’t ask someone if they want food, just hand it to them."

15

"Stroke their ego.

The most effective one you’ll find.

There’s no more effective way to amass power than by convincing people that they’re smart enough to give it to you."

16

"If you need a big favor from someone (or a favor someone is likely to say no to) ask a smaller favor first, like borrowing a pen or something similar. They will more likely say yes to a bigger favor."

17

"Anchoring.

When you’re negotiating something like price, always ask for more than what you want. Like say you want to sell something for $10. If someone wants to buy it offer to sell it for $20 instead. You might get lucky and they buy it for the larger amount, but if they hesitate you can follow up with

“Well, I suppose I could let it go for 15, or maybe 10”.

They’ll be more likely to buy because to them it feels like they’re getting a deal and being savvy by talking you down. This works for anything quantifiable, basically. Buying a car priced at 10,000 that you want to buy for 9000? Offer 8000 first."

18

"Say nice things about people behind their backs. There are no downsides: the person you’re talking to likes you better, and so does the person you’re talking about. This really helped me make friends at new jobs, new cities, and also can help diffuse social tensions unrelated to you."

19

"If you do even the smallest amount of research on someone and compliment them on something they’ve done when you first meet them they will consider you a friend."

20

"Giving ANY excuse while you ask someone for a small favor.

There was a test conducted to see if people could cut in line.

There were 4 groups. People who just cut in line, people who asked to cut in line, people who asked and gave a valid excuse “I am in a hurry”, and people who asked and gave a bogus nonsensical excuse “Can I cut in line because I need to cut in line”

The no talk group suffered the worst results, the ones who at least asked had better results, those who gave and excuse BOGUS OR NOT, had nearly identical results.

The conclusion is people don’t listen to your excuse for why you need to do something, just the fact you gave an excuse at all gives you bonus points."